My Personal Diary 3

HI all been doing a lot of things and dealing with so many issues. First I haven't started my change to be the lady I am yet. Still talking to people and figuring out what to do its not that simple as you think. I do see the world and feel as a lady I am but in a mans body is strange but not really to me. The way it is now and if doesn't change I will stay the same but be better if I was the person how I look myself in the mirror to what I see myself be good to be and live as the lady I am. I just got really bad and news on Friday love to share if you ask but rather keep to myself only if the readers would like to know fully going on with me I would if there was a push. I am a writer so love to say everything some things are private.
 The second thing like to share I am getting more singers for my choir is great still working on the rehearsal practice location at the moment we do have enough people now so can't wait to start I feel bad they are waiting to go. I made new friends that come part of my life that are so sweet and caring and there for me in a way even there are around the world from me like Australia, UK and maybe others. Sucks still don't have my full hours of work like I used to do they cut my hours and is slow it is really really hard to find work. I even trying to look and get to town where most of my family are they are not here far from here and very close and support me I feel there love. The worse part of being an out there Trans person is losing very close friends and people look at you strange everywhere you go because a lot in town no now am I strange. I don't think so I am same person no people look at you different. I made so many new other Trans friends so that is been good. Also figuring full new direction and places so that is why I haven't fully gone into counselling and that the full change.
The last probably thing to share at the moment hopefully have new work poetry up soon. I still write and this Sunday I finished a poem kind of inspired by my real life again but not really because it was sort of about me but actually what inspired it was about a normal lady an acquaintance of mine told me and I go through also that people taking advantage of her and standing her up for what making her feel bad. That is little sneak on my latest work.
If anyone out there have ideas of my poetry and that. If any suggestions out there what you will like to see what I write let me know? I love suggestions of what to write or topics for my poetry I love a challenge. I give this to the people public. I love a challenge instead of in my own world come on out there? I will create it in a week and post up usually I write my poetry on my free time on weekends and work on my choir at the same time. You know that is cool because I challenge a friend one day for an idea or something write a poem write in front of her and see how I do it. When I am writing doesn't take long comes natural to me and can write a page like that. I think took me about 5min I think to write a full poem write in front of her. I love creating that is how I do my music as well and my poetry and that I love free style full creative. I used to be a dancer also same thing.
My dream is too be a full published poet with books.
This is bascially going on

Song I worote Called Silent Awkwardness

Silent Awkwardness

Chorus:           

The silence between 2 peoples conversation is so awkward. The silence is so quiet that you can hear a needle drop. In the silence for me so much pain waiting for the person to say something.

Screaming 3times

Verse 1:          

I always have little awkward times socially because I never really fit in anywhere. The only place that I fit in was when I was a kid doing dance. That is where I could truly be myself and fit in. I didn’t have to worry because I am really different from the rest of the people.

Verse 2:

We should never hide beyond masks or behind another person. This is the new age that it is FINALLY OK TO BE YOU still a lot of people don’t understand this is the new world, especially when  I came out as a trans person really a lady in a man’s body.

Verse3:

It creates problems when you tell people you’re a Tran’s person that is when the awkward silences hit and even a lot of hatred comes out. I am who I am and going to change for you. YOU CAN ALL FUCK YOURSELF. The Trans people are not going to hide and be silent anymore. .Silence is the killer. We are all beautiful