City Cowboys and Cowgirls

It is hard living in the city especially for us cowboys and cowgirls

People make fun of us like me for wearing my cowboy hat and that

The one thing that bugs me is that they call me trigger

Most of us city cowboy and cowgirls we where on farms and riding horses

But now we live in the city not doing our country things anymore

We always keep the country stuff alive

I still have family that live in the country

I myself spent a lot of time in the barn especially hang out with the cows

The cowboys and cowgirls are the kindest and sweetest people you can ever meet

There are a lot of us you know where to find us especially easy when we are wearing our country gear

Where there is country music playing that is where you will find us

Always keeping it country



Cowboy's Heart

My heart is in pain

When I see your face

I don't know why that happens every time

I am broken when you're around

I wish that your away but your always around

It's being alone

Especially for a cowboy

I rather hand around the cows instead of you

You just me insane

I can't take it anymore

I just don't want you with me me anymore

I rather saddle up my horse and keep on travelling

All a cowboy needs is his horse

If you are a cowgirl and likes horses too

And get that about cowboys than your OK with me than



The Closet

• Closets where you keep things in
• Storage and even hide things
• We all need closets
• But why is all people refereed to things if people are not normal?
• The main thing is when you share and open up about yourself they say your out of the closet
• Is that mean we are still in the closet and not out or going anywhere in life?
• What if a person doesn't share those things so they are still in the closet?
• To me we are still same if we are still in the closet or out of the closet
• If your out of the closet just means all the people know about it and could be bad
• For me coming out of the closet what I needed to do for myself so that the people know the true me
• I am not such a strong person
• With the help with my partner and very close Friends I finally came fully open about it
• I feel the weight fully lifted off me like something holding me down now its gone
• I shouldn't really care so much what others think of me but I do
• It's hard because how other see me as how I see my self that is the hard thing
• I am glad others now see me as the lady I am not the male that I am in
• The hard part you will half to get over name calling and bullying is very real when you get out of the closet
• Sometimes than you think it would be better to stay into it and not out as you are
• We half to change society and people minds changed so we don't have that closet anymore

This is dedicated to other trans, gay, bisexual, lesbian people how haven't came out yet

Family

Everyone has a family like that your born in and some don't at all. The ones don't have any family with had family so that they will not be alone. Some of us or a lot have family that are born in but with they didn't. I am really one of those people. My family already thinks I am a mental case that because I am a male that dresses up in ladies things its not because I am a freak. I really feel that I am a full lady even if born a male and I do dress up because I need to. My family doesn't know that I am a trans person they would never understand already think i am a mental case because I am a cross dresser.
I really hate my close family but not all of them. The way the treat me and think I need much help and change how I am. There is not nothing wrong with me it all. I am such a black sheep of the family they love me but not true if try to get me help and said I need to change that is not family and Christian. They say and go to church every week but and they they are Christian but in that case much sinners how they treat me. To be Christian is too love all those how are different from you like Jesus does and accept everyone. I guess so hard to dress up or even be lady that I am. I wish people how love me for I am a lady and help me change to be a fully lady I am and not change how I think you can't.
The only family I feel like that I do have are very close friends and the one who loves me also the LGBT people and other trans people those are my family not my blood family. I do like my blood family but they live far from me and wish I would be there at least they love me for me.
For family things so hard for me because I am fully different and know that I don't really belong there and with them for sure but I am stuck and can't get out. Holidays and family things are the hardest for me especially Christmas because I don't want to be around them at all.
I love to be more with my LGBT family and close friends especially at holidays than around my family.
All families I think have black sheep in the family and kind of despise them and that is me in my family. I rather be alone than have all them look at me strange and what they think of me and hate me. I rather be with the ones I truly love but not with my family.

Fairy Tails

• We all once especially when we are kids loving fairy tails but than get mature and don't like them anymore
• We should all stay like children just like in the story peter pan
• I always loved Cinderella and still do
• I guess us trans people probably like different characters like there same gender children
• Just like a boy who thinks he is girl that loves a princess and wants to be a princess himself
• To me that is fine and I do the same thing
• A girl thinks she is a boy might like to be peter pan or a character like that
• I myself still loves fairy tails like Romeo and Juliet
• It is such a great love story
• Me and my love are just that very opposite
• She is very strong person buy me I am weak and always need her
• We are a very perfect match a nerd and a real professional model
• Fairy tails usually do have a happy ending
• Most people do not have a happy ending though not even  like in Romeo and Juliet at least they died together in the end
• That is such a romantic thought to die with your love one just like Romeo and Juliet

A Scottish Town

• I am from a small town 2 things put our town on the world radar
• The 2 things well one is a good thing and the other a very sad tragedy what happened
• I pass where the tragedy happened and I remember the event vividly
• People know what did happened but there is so much more to tell about it
• The tragedy event took place March 13 1996
• I see in my mind of what happened
• On that day a man went into the elementary school than he just starting shooting
• The result of that was 16 children he killed and than killed himself
• Can you imagine being in that school on the day that happened
• You hear all the noise of all the shots
• I can imagine the panic in the school all the screaming
• The town is called Dublane Scotland
• You would think that is it of the story but there is more meat the eye
• There was a cover up and everything
• The shocking thing is that even from the Govt
• Us Scots will never break we will always fight and giver give up
• The other thing that put us on the world stage is a famous celebrity comes from here
• He is one of the best tennis players in the world his name is Andy Murray comes from Dublane Scotland

This is poem is written and let us remember all those children how got killed by a monster

Abigail McLennan, Brett McKinnon, Charlotte Dunn, David Kerr (Victims)

Emily Morton, Emma Crozier, Hannah Scott, Joanna Ross (Victims)

John Petrie, Kevin Hasell, Megan Turner, Melissa Currie (Victims)

Mhairi McBeath, Ross Irvine, Sophie North, Victoria Clydesdale (Victims)

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Wild

• Wild horses are very strong ed will and hard to get them domesticated
• People are like wild horses strong ed will wild and also hard to change them
• That is how it is for us trans people
• That most people want us to change our minds to stay the gender we our and  that we have a problem
• We are not mental and don't need to change of how we are
• I am really a lady and feel more comfortable of who I am as a lady even if I stay as a male
• I feel better if I am dressed up and be a girl than as a male
• I know everyone will want me to change me so that I don't feel this way but it's the real me
• There are a lot of people could feel the same way
• Let us be who we are
• Support and love them
• We should change things the way we parent and educate our kids
• That says if your a male that feels you should be a lady or a girl that feels like she is a boy and that's OK
• We are all beautiful even if we are more like real wild horses sometimes and lonely

Difference Makers

• Struggling, weak
• Don't have a coach or teacher for your life
• A teacher, supporter or a coach helps you
• Everyone needs a difference maker
• If you don't even a preist or someone like that
• I had coaches in my sport life but hot in my general life
• I thought wouldin't find a different maker in my life
• I did find one the person I feel in love with she is my soul mate and difference maker in my life
• She always say to me " Tomorrow will always be better"
• My love and soul-mate is ny sufference maker for sure
• That is why I keep working on my wiriting because of her
• She says " Do what you love and work on your passions"
• I do because my difference maker keeps me going for sure

Addictions

• Abusing
• Pain, hurtful
• Trouble
• Self denial, hideing
• No respect, denial
• Bring others down
• Loose friends and fmaily
• Hoeless, prositution
• Drugs, alchol
• You can be addicted to anything
• Brokeness, suffering
• Losst of mind
• Health and skin problems
• Clowdey of judement
• Darkenss no happaness
• No light
• Very shocking things
• Violence even verbal abuse
• Crime
• Another state of mind
• Hidden
• Hard to brrake

I have a few addictions myself haid to get over them if your deep in

Choral

Singing, voices

Blending together

Harmonyies, solos

All kinds of music

Storytelling, emotions

Practicing, performing

Creating, moving

Especially when you get gosebumps

Passion

Different tempos, key changes

Also takle different languages

That is what I love to do

 

When Depression HIts

• When your body attacks and fights you
• Like in a boxing match contestants try to punch each other out
• That is how it feels like every day with a fever, nausea
• Like two boxers against me that makes you feel weak and that is when the depression hits
• You feel dead inside like a world like a zombie it's not fun at all
• That is when you go into yourself and withdraw from society and the world
• Tonight I reached out but in a whole different way I thought
• I guess we need a wake up call sometimes
• I guess it was good full force wake up call I had
• I was hoping for a soft touch from a friend not a full in your face one
• I just needed a spiritual direction or a call from a friend not a full in your face
•  It's like confusing and more scary
• It does wake you up and make you take away the feelings
• Our Holy Mother I don't understand why did you leave me to my own devices to myself?
• Why does so many people end up in the same situation?
• A lot of them kill themselves and don't have anyone to reach out too or an Angel to save them

Lost People

• We are the first people on this continent before all the white people and the Europeans came
• We took care of our  mother earth until the white, Europeans raped and destroy mother earth
• Now we are left in reserves where our housing is third world conditions
• Everyone else making progress
• What about us?
• We are just left on the reserves
• Does anyone care
• The white people don't
• Our communities are in morning
• We asked the Govt to help will they
• Doesn't look like anything will be done
• Even we asked the cops to help they help there own
• They are all pigs
• Our people losing our languages and customs
• Thanks white people now our kids,teens sniffing gasoline, become alcoholics and prostitutes
• Even our boys being rapped as well as girls
• Will keep up the fight till we get respect
• Help us in our communities
• The Govt does is talk and no action
• Look at the Highway of tears
• Wow they solved a white girls case but most of the cases our Native girls gone missing and ended up dead
• The Govt and the cops wont help us to solve the missing Native girls and our people
• Are we invisible to everyone?
• We are the people of mother earth
• I hope you will stand with us to solve our missing and dead girls and boys alone the Highway of tears

Helen Keller

She is an amazing person nad has a hospital named after her

She is a role model for me

You wander what it's like to have one of your senses gone like your sight or hearing

Helen had her sight, hearing gone and became such a great lady

Helen became that way at the age of 6 because of a disease

Anne became her teacher that open Hlen's possiblities and communications

That is the kind of way that Helen tells about her teacher

Helen Keller became a great writer for having no sight and hearing

She is one of the grat writers of our time like my favourate poets Emily Dickenson

I have seen pictures of her and one of them stands out for me

When Helen Keller was 8 years old with her teacher

Helen is very pretty and beautiful

Helen Keller has great courage and spirit and also don't foret her grace

You shouldn't judge the relationship with her and her teacher because Anne gave her communication and lots of other things

Anne protected Helen from the world

Helen know that Anne hold her back

Anne did that for a good reason

At that time period people judged Helen harshly and still today probably

You should read Helen's work that she wrote than you will see what kind of person who she is

 

Written March 20, 2008



400 Years

What is the 400 years?

This is the year that Quebec City was founded 400 years ago

I always love Quebec and I still do

The place is so beautiful

It has such great history

I believe it is the oldest city in North America

I am so proud and thankful for Quebec and the French, Quebecois

The French gives us great culture and language

A lot of English don't like the French but for me I love them

Quebec is the olnly people know how to party right and tell stories

We should all celebrate the 400 years I am

I really love the francophone music from Quebec and Canada

Keep rocking Quebec and let's celebrate a lot more years

Canada overlooks them all the time but Quebec gives us so much

I really like Isablle Boulay, Stephanie LaPointe, Jonas and a lot more

Viva Nouvelle France

God Bless Quebec

 

 

 

Written on Friday September 5, 2008



Darkenss and Light

We all have light and darkness in our lives. The happy times are the light and through the stuggles is the darkness. The bible calls it sin or your cross you half to take up. The light is with God and eternal life. The darkness is like your under deep water and down far enough the the light from the sun can't penetrate at the depth. You try to swim up until the top of the water and into the light but you struggle too much and than you fail all the way down. An exmple of this if your friend's give you peer pressure of doing bad things or making the wrong choice in your life to better yourself and do what God wants you to do. I fully know all to well being in such darkness and not seeing any light. I have done evil and naughty things to make money and worked with someone just like a prositute. Plus I have been trouble with the law a couple of times. We half to repent are sins and go to God with all our hearts to make it into the light. It won't be easy and it will be freighting. All what your used to is being in the dark and despair in your life like me. When you start going into the light your sins and bad things in your life start being exposed.
When the happens people know those things about you and probably been disguested of what you have done. Those people you thought were your friends will leave you and all the people will stay with you are your true friends. We all have done things we are not proud of. When you get into the light it's a peaceful walk with God in the light out of deep depth of the water. A passage in the bible taken from Psalm 118 verse 1b says "His love endures forever." God loves never dies. If you think no one really loves me and it doesn't look like God is there of you but he is there in your heart. Myself I have a big heart for those how are suffering and need someone to love and hug. I am there for you too.

I dedicate this to a  friend for her great strength and kind spirit

The Wee Lass

• One night I was out
• It's a place that has a lot of history
• It is in a valley surronded by green hills
• In am small town in Scotland
• In the past it had lots of bettles between the clans and other typles of fights
• The the has a strong Scottish dialects like Gaelic, Doric
• The town is a typical small towns but there is mist  when it comes in you can see anything much at all
• At the local pub you hear great stories of the in in the past and anything what goes on in the town
• One tragic story of a young Lass how died before her time
• She wanted peace because of the violence goings on
• The Lass was so beautiful people said she was a witch and not sent from God
• Her story is tragic like Joan of Ark
• When they told me that I had tears from my eyes
• I am just visiting the wee town
• I was all alone in the wee morning still much darkness and misty
• The wind was a little frightful
• I heard a wee noise
• It was a Lass voice
• I asked her how was she? but didn't answer
• I called out again to her this time she answered me
• It was the same Lass how I  heard the story about
• Why did the wee Lass contact me?
• Because she saw me tear up when I heard her story
• I was shocked, speachless in tears
• The Lass touched my face
• It was weired the ghost has warm hands
• The Lass even has a tear in her eye
• The Lass disappeared when thee mist cleared up
• I was still in much shocked
• She is a saint of the wee town
• The people didn't know that at all
• The lass is a saint Joan
• She is such a pure angel and protecting the town
• The legend is true the little Lass with a big heart she does truly exist
• I have seen her and touched me
• I still have tears from her

This is dedicated to a friend on mine

Masks

• We all wear masks even think that you don't but we do
• Some of us pretty complex than others
• we all do it
• Do we know the truth about everyone. No just people want you to see
• People usually do wear makes usually for there work, family and their things
• Masks are also used in different aspects of cultures
• The main things that masks do is cover up your face the true you
• Others put on masks to play different characters  like in theater and film by actors
• Even in history masks go a long way back
• The one main reason people wear makes are masquerade balls everyone shows up wearing a masks just like Romeo and Juliet where they fell in love
• To the complex people and down to earth people. We all wear masks on
• I don't think most people will want to know the true nature of humans
• That's why we all wear masks
• There are not a lot of people know the true me
• One day I will put all the masks away
• You will see the true me one day
• Its a scary thought proposition to put those mask es down
• I challenge to those put your masks down and let other see the true nature of us and others
• Also not to judge people when people to do that but embrace everyone

Love

Love is the hardest thing for me
You can find love anywhere like
On the road, the sidewalk, even the Internet and other places
Love is an amazing feeling when you find your soul mate
Its ok to love the same sex or the opposite sex
For me love is hard because I have deep feelings for the same and other sex
You can love a stranger or love your best friend
And even that person that you want to send your life with
There is also another love it’s your relative
I haven’t found my true love yet but that person is out there somewhere
You should tell someone how you feel about them
Because it’s hard for you and for the person
I still keep feelings about someone to myself and that is not right
I hope you all out there find your love someday in any form

Capitalism

When we are kids we use our imaginations when we play and be created. When you grow up imagine and be created forbidden because you half to think of work and make a lot of money and have stuff now we are teaching the kids be like that as well. I love fairy tales and being created still today. It’s good to be in a different world sometimes like being a world with knights and that again being a knight and helping those in need and suffering. Like being a knight and save the princess from the black knights or in need the knight’s code should be still practiced. What wrong with fairy tales and the lessons the whole world needs to help those how are suffering and falling in love like Cinderella and other great stories and lessons that we have lost when we grow up. North America and the rest of the world is following the practice capitalism. Capitalism is very real and evil practice.

Capitalism is that we don’t care about others and get a lot of stuff and things like houses cares and lots of things. Those people get in our way to have lots of stuff we hurt them and make them pay by stealing their money and hoses and being homeless and lots of blue collar crime.Now we lose are true self’s and how we are meant to be stewards of our world and helping and loving others. There is so much suffering and violence because of Capitalism that’s why I call it evil.We should go back to the Knights’ code and be on quests for good not for Capitalism. To help those in need and love people are what we are supposed to be by God how created us to live like Jesus and be like him and hurt others and steal and violence.

That’s the true way of living is try to be like Jesus and a good Knights and nothing wrong being in a dream or fairy tales like Cinderella and others or like a world of Narnia by CS Lewis
We half to stop the way we are going and try to change the world for good or we will always have the problem of Evil and taking advantage of others.
I dream of a world of no suffering and pain and having money and lots of stuff maybe we should scrap having money and live the true way is how I see the world of love and help those

The Drum and its Beat

Can you hear the drum?
The beating of the drum
It’s spreading deep into your soul
The beat of the drum is your heartbeat
The drum connects us all
It is an honour to hear the sound of the drum
Also the drum tells us that we are part of creation
All of the aboriginal people are connected by the drum
Hear the drum and your feet and body move to a different place
The drum makes the spirits come to life

The drum connects with everyone not just Native people




Dedicated to all Native People and their Pow Wows

We are All Different

We are all different
Why are there problems with that?
Difference is what makes us a great world
It is wrong to hurt people because they are different
Even because they might speak a different language or belief
We are all the same and not really different at all
The world I see so much suffering just because of this
We need more love in this world
Make fun of them if our pagan or being Buddhism is wrong
It is not right to change them
Christ saved us all for dying on the cross
So that we can be with God
We are all the same and differences
If we are all the same the world be such a boring place
Let us just love each other for our differences

True Canadian girl

• She is a true Canadian girl
• Sweetest person you can meet
• When you watch her play hockey amazing to watch
• She never gives up and plays full out when she is on the ice
• She has a gift to skate like that on the ice
• A true Canadian girl that love to play hockey and always keep smiling when things get tough
• Last time I talked with her she was still smiling and gave me the thumbs up even though the team lost again
• Thats a true Canadian girl
• She is a girl from God and uses her gifts to share her positively inspires and encourages others even if she didn't know doing it
• She is an angel to people in touch with her and changes lives
• She saved me a couple of times as a good friend takes time and listens and hold you when you can't crying
• A true Canadian girl hows a Angel or Hero

I dedicated this poem to my friend Kelly

Corrie Street

Corrie Street is Cornation Street just another way us fans of the show call Coronation Street

Its a fictional street its a Birtish soap its like any other street and communities especially British

Its one of my fav shows

Coorrie Street narrow street wtih cobble stone streets

When you watch it once or twice you get hooked watching it

You feel like part of the community on the Street and the fmailyies and stories

Me and my friend Makela are big Corrie fans

Of course evry British cmmunity has a local pub where the community gets together hang out drink and gossip and that just like Corrie Street has

Some of the Corrie fans usally think its real like the characters they play but its not but we think it is

I know its real but I real feel what the people are going through

I usally watch because I love this one chacter called Tina McInytire played by Michelle Keegan I beielve and Tina I feel for her tragic story and life she goes through all the time and I think she doing good again Tina

For a while I was afrid for her and that I hope Tina is doing good again. Tina needs it

Happy Anniversary Corrie Street its the shows 50th Anniversary I am proud to be part of it

The actress plays Tina my fav she won this year at the British Soap Awards Sexy Women Lady on a soap this year Congrat to her she is an awsome actress Tina for me is a real person

Come and join us Corrie Street see you at the Street watch and be part of the Community

Song for my Love

What a curvey road seems like I am on

A winedy mountain road with too many hills, twists and turns

I am the luckiest guy in the world my partner surprises me each time we talk

She is my world without her I would be all alone

We are on the road together are clear dirction with less hinderance than when I am on the road myself

Too me my partner is the most beautiuful lady in the world actually hard to see her as my partner

We just certanly had the hardest talk in our lives

I live with an illness that never goes ayay

I thought when I told her everything how I am feeling and can't weak feeling this way each day

We talked at a high end really nice carfe, resturant

I had such difficulties to talk her we just hold hands for about 5min or so to tell her what I was trying to say

I am so glad I did tell her but we where each crying and I should she would leave me and still do

She said to me I will be there for you by your side through the hard times and you you can tell me everything

She said that I am proud of you for I have overcame

She says to me the the next day will be better and also said that I can help people that find themselves in the same situations and you can do it

Also said that keep doing your passion writing and music what I am good at

I am hear for you she said

I am so very glad she is sticking by me

Thank you love





This is Dedicated to my life and my world and love Candice